The OC Season 3 Episode 11: spinachdip's reasons why not

Previously: Season 3 Episode 5

"I'm ready to give up on The OC." - that was the instant message I got from Pete in Denver late Thursday night. I couldn't help but sympathize. Pete and I loved The OC from the very first episode. We tolerated the Oliver episodes and the general suckasstitude that ruled the first 3/4 of Season 2. We forgave the writers for clumsily disposing of Alex, Lindsay, Zach, Trey, Luke, DJ, Hailey, Theresa (and the baby), etc etc, and of course, Anna (though the word is that she will be back for a guest stint).

But shit is getting ridiculous. I realize the plotlines were never all that plausible to begin with, but at least there was suspense, and comedy came from genuinely funny dialog, not transparent references to itself and 90210. At this point, I'm watching because I feel almost obligated to watch since I have so much invested in it. Like I'm calling to arrange the third and last date with a girl who I haven't clicked with and has shown no interest in unzipping her pants. Has the show really peaked in Season One and we're watching its transformation into Saved By The Bell: The New Class?

(Insert clip of Jack Twist saying "I wish I knew how to quit you.")

So last night's episode in short - the gang decides Marissa simply must be saved from public school purgatory and needs to be reinstated at Harbor because senior pictures are next week and if your best friends aren't in the senior picture, well, life simply isn't worth living. Of course, kids forget that private schools charge tuition and the Coopers are broker than Brokeback. Stupid kids. Public school Johnny, on pace for the fastest recovery from ACL known to man, tries to guilt her into staying at Newport Union and... oh, this is all stupid. If you care enough, read it up here.

The few bright spots:

Yes, that was CSNY's "Our House", quite possibly the greatest non-Bee Gees song from the 70s, ever, but performed by Phantom Planet. I don't care if it's a cover. Who doesn't like that song, except for deaf people and fascists?

“No rhinos to plasty today?” Oh, Julie Cooper. I less than three you.

“Anything else… you’d be facing a long night involving candle wax, tube socks, and the new Fiona Apple CD.”

Dr. Kim! She's my favorite token minority, mostly because the actress who plays her is Rosalind Chao, which is the most awesomest name ever.

The bad? Lots of it, but a few minor complaints first:

Is Taylor a social outcast or isn't she? She doesn't seem to have trouble finding a table in the cafeteria, yet she's clinging on to Seth and Summer?

And isn't Summer supposed to be popular?

Julie Cooper and Dr. Roberts? Not working. Plus, they had to pick the least WASPy looking actor to play Summer's dad. Well, maybe the second least WASPy after Sandy Cohen, who's all Scottish-Catholic looking.

Now, the bigger gripes:

Major Complaint 1
Did anyone else get the impression that Kaitlin Cooper was coming back this episode? I certainly did. I figured bringing Marissa's sister back would add a nice dimension to the family dynamics, but alas, Fox is making us wait another week after a whole week of teasers.

She should've been back much sooner, of course, like when Julie and Marissa moved in with Caleb, or when Julie and Jimmy were getting back together, or when Julie learned they were broke...

Anyway, Kaitlin looks a little different from the last time she lived in Newport:

But of course, after finding out that the actress who plays Kaitlin is 14 years old actress who plays Kaitlin is 14 years old, I feel very very very dirty. I don't think I'm even allowed to call her "cute". What makes the deal whole thing more disturbing is that the actor who plays Johnny, whom Kaitlin tries to seduce, is probably like 24.

Major Complaint 2
The timeslot change to 9 pm does not make me happy at all, since it now conflicts with the new timeslot for The Office at 9:30 pm. I need my 24, Scrubs, Lost, The Office and The OC, and they used to coexist so nicely. If The OC continues to suck, I'm going to have to start switching over to NBC.

God, what a fucking disjointed post. I seriously need an editor. Anyway, some randoms.

Gotta agree with Central Village Jeff - "I smell like Marissa" just isn't funny and makes absolutely no sense at all.

Scrubs is back and bringing the stupid funny. But I do miss Heather Graham's character from last season. I know it was always just going to be a guest starring role, but as Dana Stevens points out, Molly was one of the few characters she was well fit for.

One of my favorite commercials right now is the one for the NY Times that's running locally here, mostly for the Westchester yuppie dad who exclaims, "It's a joooy to read the New York Times." The line is almost as good as the one in the old NY Times commercials, "It doesn't just cover a story, it surrounds the story (makes 'surround' gesture with hands)" or something equally pretentious.

Also, love the Verizon Business spot that's running locally. James Earl Jones is pitching this calling plan and the director keeps saying "Higher" so James Earl's voice keeps getting higher and higher. What JEJ doesn't realize is that the director's actually addressing one of the set guys raising a sign behind him. When the director says "That's perfect, Tom," JEJ does his best surprised look, realizes what's going on and proceeds to giggle for the next five seconds.

Seriously, of all the names in the world, Tom? I mean, the commercial is pure minstrelsy, as the guys from the Roots like to say. As a someone who has studied the role of blacks in American cinema, I can't help but be mortified, and also laugh my ass off.

Happy Martin Luther King Day, kids.

tags: The OC Scrubs Heather Graham TV commercials advertising Verizon James Earl Jones