Reports of My Demise: Greatly Appreciated

So yes, I'm back. And scared shitless because I honestly don't know how long I can keep this up. We'll see how this goes. So a few things:

• Thanks to everyone who said nice things about this site when I went on break, especially if you meant it.


• To clarify, I never meant to quit blogging permanently. I'm nothing without this site, really.


• The personal life shit that I was supposed to take care of during my blog hiatus? Unresolved.


• New Year's Resolutions:
  • Buy a winning lottery ticket
    
  • Take a real vacation
    
  • Get some sleep
    
  • Make Blogebrity. No, scratch that, make Douchebrity .
    
  • Find a non-soul-sucking job
    
  • Figure out why I can't comment on Gawker any more
    
  • Acquire a new skill to impress girls at parties
    
  • Read Maxim cover to cover
  
  
• I swear, I keep getting stupider and stupider. I'm on some extended Flowers For Algernon shit. Though I was pretty fucking smart to start with so the decline is pretty gradual, so thank Lohan for that.


• Thanks to everyone who's come over to [dc]. We have some exciting things planned in the coming weeks apparently, though Heather has kept me in the dark. I'm hoping for company cars, or at least coffee mugs.


• As a fan of sports and white people, this site amuses me. The message board is particularly awesome.


• Finally, Happy New Year. I don't remember much after the countdown, but I had a wonderful time. Hope 2006 is less craptacular than 2005.