Linkatharsis: my brain is totally Friday

Oh snap. The real life "Finch" family from Running With Scissors are suing Augusten Burroughs for $2 mill.

First, there was Lindsay Lohan vs Hillary Duff. Now, it's Rob Schneider vs Roger Ebert:

"I don't make movies for critics, but he irks me," Schneider tells Stuff magazine. Schneider says Ebert admitted to him that 'he never [had sex] in high school. That's why he likes character actors and actresses who look like him."
He adds, "He's an a-. I'm told he's not nice to the people he works with."

"A lot of people didn't [have sex] in high school in the 1950s," Ebert countered when we told him about Schneider's dis. "My favorite actors include Robert Mitchum and Clint Eastwood. They don't look anything like me."

Ebert - who defied Schneider "to produce one person I wasn't nice to" - said he'd already written his review of Schneider's about-to-open sequel "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" before he heard about the star's assault.
"I don't think he's an a-," said Ebert. "But if he's going to persist in making bad movies, he's going to have to grow accustomed to reading bad reviews."

Ebert 1 Schneider 0.

You might remember the last time we heard from Rob, he took out a full page attack ad in Variety for a throaway joke about Hot Chicks. Classy, Rob.

Aw, lawdy: "Fo shizzle, I-ka-zizzle."

I mean, Snoop's great and all. Actually, he's not. I wish Corporate America would stop parading him around in a transparent attempt to make their brands seem cooler than they actually are. It's not flattering at all.

GOP: "Yeah, we've given up on that 'small government' thing. Boy, we love that pork!"

Source magazine: Head in sand, cultural relevance down the drain

Duke dropout lands temp job

Speaking of the ACC (thanks to the Glasper, as always):