The world is conspiring against me

I came to the above conclusion on my way to work this morning. Let me explain.

1. The Chinatown bakery by my subway stop is great when I need an unhealthy breakfast for less than a dollar. But why oh why does iced coffee cost 65 cents more, or practically double the price of hot coffee? It's just coffee cooled with ice. Chinese people hate me.

2. I needed to buy a Metrocard this morning so I go one of the vending machines. What? You're not accepting debit or credit cards? Asswipe. I go to the next machine - not accepting plastic either. Can I at least use a $20? Nope, only coins. I get to the last machine and get the $20 card since all I had in my wallet was a $20 bill. Good thing I didn't take a cab from LGA yesterday. But really, what the hell? MTA hates me.

3. Coming out of the subway today, I noticed that New York smells. And I mean that in the pejorative sense - cities don't have olfactory organs, silly. I didn't notice it yesterday coming home from the airport since I was quite sweaty and presumably stinky myself, and on my way to the subway, I figured it was just Canal St in the summer. But man, I come out at 16th and 6th, the smell hits me. You get used to the smell after a couple of days but when you come back after a long absence, it smacks you like a spiked bat. New York City hates me.

4. I go to Wendy's for lunch today since I was on a fast food kick. It's hard to understand the lady behind the counter since she has a semi-thick Indian accent. When I ask her to repeat herself, she yells at me - "SWEET OR UNSWEETENED?!". Then these flies were buzzing around me the whole time I was eating. And the blandness of the burger put me off fast food for at least a month and made me realize I should've gone to Shake Shack, 20-minute wait and all. The only thing keeping me from mentally shaking my fist at Wendy's was that the guy who was wiping the tables took my tray as I was getting up. But overall, Wendy's hates me.

Still, I guess it's not too bad for a Monday.