Friday, October 08, 2004

Drink motherfucker, drink - the 2004 Presidential Debate Drinking Game

Print this post, photocopy and distribute. Buy alcohol. Tune into the debate.

Take a drink for any occurence of the following:

  • Either candidate
    Plugs his website
    Misspeaks (note: faulty facts does not apply)
    Mentions his family
    Mentions opponent's family
    Asserts opponent is against No Child Left Behind
    Responds, but does not answer question
    Goes back to a previous question
    Physically gestures toward opponent
    Confuses Saddam with Osama
    "I feel your pain" or variation
    Employs anecdote
    "Do you want a President who..."

  • Bush:
    Cites recent job growth
    "We're making progress"
    Pauses for two Mississippis or more
    Asserts Kerry voted for tax increase 98 times
    Bush blames cost of health care on frivolous law suits
    "hard work"
    "mixed messages"
    "Wrong war, wrong place, wrong time"
    Asserts new Medicare prescription plan makes drugs more affordable
    Describes Allawi or Karzai as "brave" and/or "courageous"
    Dismisses Kerry's plan saying it "won't work" without providing further detail
    Mentions Chalabi by mistake
    Clarifies that he does not question Kerry's patriotism
    Contradicts commission findings on Iraq's WMD/terrorism ties

  • Kerry:
    I have always said"
    "One position"
    "I have a plan"
    "Hope is on the way"
    "More in July than in June, more in August than in July, more in September than in August" or variation
    "Tora Bora"
    "$200 billion"
    "Halliburton"
    "Sworn enemies"
    Asserts new Medicare prescription plan makes drugs less affordable
    "the American people deserve better"
    "Afghan warlords"
    "first president to lose jobs in 70 years/Herbert Hooever"
    Compares Hallburton to Enron
    Mentions his Vietnam service unsolicited

  • Questioner from the audience:
    Plaid shirt
    Non-issue question
    Non-question
    Gushes while addressing candidate
    Interrupted by moderator


Thanks to the good people of BigSoccer for your help.

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