Thursday, March 02, 2006

An open letter to the United States Postal Service

Dear USPS,

It's bad enough that you, of all people, are sending me junk mail. That, I can live with - you need to pimp your shit. I understand. But this?

Fucking Cathy? With all due respect, what the fuck?

Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to send promotional material with that shit on it? Do you actually believe a widely derided cartoon will actually make people want to use your website and buy stamps online and shit? Don't you know that each Cathy strip taped onto a door drives the suicide rate in that office up by 2.3%? Or that people who pass shit out on Cathy Post-It notes are the first to be shot by a disgruntled former employee in a shooting spree?

Look, I can accept that there are people who actually enjoy Cathy and don't vomit at the site of the comic strip. Who the fuck knows why, but they buy coffee mugs and compilations of strips that weren't relevant 10 years ago. That's fine. Vive les consumer choices. But those people represent a tiny minority of consumers, and to many of the rest of us, the comic is as unfunny and offensive as Danish cartoons are to Islam extremists.

When you send me a direct mail piece with the Cathy cartoon, it says to me, "You are an uncultured consumer who probably listens to Celine Dione and thinks Olive Garden is fine dining." I really don't want you to think of me that way. I find it insulting and it makes me question my self worth.

Please don't do this again. Ever.


Postal Service Customer.

PS - Speaking of the Postal Service, here's some music: Feist - Mushaboom (Postal Service Remix)


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