In which I get all Whiny McSelfabsorbederson

• I gotta say, I'm having an okay Saturday sporting-wise. Liverpool defeated Bolton to stay in the hunt for a Champions League place for next season, and we got to see 2 Newcastle players fighting each other on the pitch (above). My college hoops team tips off in less than 8, MLS season kicks off in 90 minutes.


• Otherwise, life not so good. I know, it could be worse. I could be starving, I could be hooked on drugs, whatever. But my life is supposed to kick ass. Right now, it's only mildly outstanding.


• I'm hating work right now. True, I could leave and get a job I really want, but right now, rents needs to get paid.
  
  If I try to quit, they'll probably try to give me a raise because I'm pretty fucking indispensable, which would be great in theory, but in practice, that's a commitment I'm not willing to make. There's always a catch, ya know. Maybe if I get myself fired, that'll give me the motivation to get shit done. Who knows. Seriously though, I don't know what the fuck I have to do to get fired.


• It's not bad work actually. It's just that clients are stupid, I'm not doing anything creative and I feel like I'm wasting away. Plus, the unpredictability of a small office isn't conductive to blogging and frustrated-novelisting.


• I don't know what's wrong with me. I come home from work, I eat, and I find myself passing out before 9 pm. Then I wake up in the morning still sleepy.


• It probably doesn't help that I'm in the worst physical shape since the fall of freshman year in college. I haven't lifted or ran in ages. The sad part is, I think I'm losing weight. I'm practically invisible now - a lady almost ran me over with her baby stroller the other day.
  
  I don't know about you, I would actually prefer to balloon all the way up to 300 than waste away. At least people wouldn't look at me funny for ordering a salad and I could handle more alcohol.
  
  At least this is a problem I can take care of pretty easily. Eat more, get off my ass, don't spend so much time blogging.


• As previously mentioned, my hair is out of control. If the front and the sides were more businesslike, it would be a fully functional mullet. I'd get a haircut but I'm not quite sure what to do with it yet.


• The "5" key on my laptop is coming loose. I should get a new computer soon.


• I think I'm done complaining now. I just hope I'm not clinically depressed or anything. That would be a total bummer.


• Funniest thing that happened to me last weekend: a kid with a couple of friends looks lost out of his mind at 1 in the morning at the corner of Orchad and Grand.
  
  Kid: "How do I get to Grand St?"
  Me: "You're on Grand St, dude."
  Kid: "Nah, this isn't it."
  Me: "Yes it is.
  Kid: "No, I don't think this is it."
  Me: "Wait, are you trying to get to Grand St in Brooklyn?"
  Kid: "Yeah yeah, Brooklyn. Can I walk there from here>?"
  Me: "Well, there's this river. But you can get to the subway stop if you go..."
  Kid: "Nah, we don't want to take the subway or anything."
  Me: "I guess you could take the bridge. Good luck with that."
  
  And like that, he was gone. I hope they got to Brooklyn okay.