Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Spring Break Shark Attack: Ass biting good times

When I first saw the promo for the CBS Sunday Night Movie Event, Spring Break Shark Attack, I had the same reaction as everyone else who wasn't snorting network exec-grade cocaine off a stripper's ass - this will surely be utterly dreadful.

How wrong was I. So I said I wasn't going to watch it, but you knew I was gonna. After talking that much shit about it, there was no way I was going to miss it. I must say, I am now a convert to the Church of Shannon Lucio.

The title seems straight forward enough - it's spring break and there's a shark attack. Bikini-clad tight bodies and blood thirsty sharks, right? Oh, but there's so much more to it than that. For one, there isn't just one sharka attack, there are several. That's not all. This film is about redemption and family. Important lessons, like, don't lie to your dad even if he's an asshole, parties are baaaaaad, and sharks are attracted to blood and movement.

Of course, there's Shannon traipsing about in little more than her bikini top and a short skirt. There's even a subplot that has a latter day David Austin Green slipping a pill in Shannon's beverage (don't worry, the sharks chomp the shit out of him after his attempted date rape - yay sharks!). What more could you ask for in a Sunday Night Movie Event?

This Sunday Night Movie event gets a resounding two thumbs up from me. Lots of incredible unintentional comedy and incredibly bad CGI, much spring breaky goodness, including some tasty shots of young shark bite vicims on the beach. With the resounding success of Spring Break Shark Attack, one has to wonder what's next for CBS. Killer Bees at Cheerleader Camp? Church Retreat Bear Rampage? I hope to see more of the same from the geniuses at CBS.

BTW, The Sports Guy and thisiswhatwedonow.com also caught the goodness.

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