Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Ashlee Simpson: Must See Trainwreck

Even by the low standards set by the uninspiring football in the Orange Bowl, the half time entertainment sounded especially uninspiring - Kelly Clarkson! Trace Adkins! (who?) Ashlee Simpson! But there was hope. I distinctly heard a few, but certainly audible, boos from the crowd. I sensed magic. And magic came long before Ashlee took stage. [click here to continue]

Update: video link available at Lipsync.US (via Gawker). A word of warning though. This clip is not for the faint of heart, and certainly not recommended for pregnant women, small animals or pregnant small animals. Listen out for the guy screaming "You suuuuck."

Update again: another video link (via stereogum)

I figure most of this will be available on video soon enough, but what the hell. Magic came almost immediately, as the music started and Kelly sat on the edge of the stage mouthing the words but Kelly's American Idol-winning voice failed to materialize. It's like... the Ashlee incident... but the other way around!

Before Kelly could start her own version of the hoe down, a PA came on stage, did the "check check" and handed her a replacement mic. The sound was still sketchy, but worked well enough to allow Kelly to do her best Avril imitation and do her faux-hard rock pop thing that's so popular with the girls these days.

Then, Grace Adkins - there's not much to be said about him, except to say that he mumbled through his song and showed about as much charisma as the end of my nostril hair. Well, until he flashed the creepiest of creepy smiles.

Then, the main event - Ashlee Simpson is your headliner? What kind of dumbfuckery is this? Bowling For Soup not available? No, no Ashleegate this time, but she did have trouble staying in sync with the backing vocal and sounded super hoarse as she tried to hit the high notes for the big finish. She could've used an extra vocal track or two there, and an acid reflux excuse would have been perfectly acceptable. The football player-dancers doing push-ups on stage simply added to the unintentionall comedy.

And the boos that rained on her as she left the stage was absolutely stunning. Southern Cal fans and Oklahoma fans, putting their differences aside to mock Ashlee Simpson. Beautiful.

Previous Ashlee obsessions:
  • Ashlee Simpson is my schadenfreude
  • Joe Simpson: happily oblivious. Or is he?
  • Piling on - additional ado about Ashlee
  • Okay I lied, I'm mentioning Ashlee again

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