Linkatharsis: You may want to just stay home and blue yourself

I love, love this. Who needs J-School when you can get glitter, confetti flowers, gemstones, sequins and denim (denim!) in a single box? Not included, unfortunately, are Judy Miller's "Stop Snitching" button or the fiery red locks of Maureen Dowd (whom I'd totally hit, btw).

I'm so so so so so glad that TJ Ford is back. That is my #1 NBA storyline for the season. Well, for now anyway, since I won't be watching that many games until January.

Let's get the NBA locker room morality scale calibrated:
Spousal abuse, infidelity, fathering children out of wedlock with multiple women = good
Gay = bad

Mark Cuban doesn't think much of Kenny Smith.

You know, it's great Sports Illustrated manages to get "crotch puncher" onto its pages, but what the fuck is it giving space to Jay Mohr, who just might very well be an idiot. Or just a terrible columnist.

Say what you will about Scoop or Bill Simmons - hey at least try to make an argument, how asinine and non-sensical. And you can actually imagine people finding them entertaining or insightful. Seriously, what is Mohr bringing here, except that he was once in a very popular sports flick and he does the best Chris Walken impression this side of Kevin Pollack? Okay, time to get off the NBA beat.

Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

If you recently had sex with David Cross, beware. That might not be the real David Cross sperm in your vagina. Remember, next time you think you're fucking a c-list celeb, ask for ID.

T.A.N. might want to consider Netflix. Speaking of whom, he appears to have made the A-list of bloggers after, like, 2 months in the game. That's pretty good company up there on the fridge.

Guns N Roses fans might be shocked to learn that Chinese Democracy is not coming out anytime soon.

This is where I'm supposed to drop my 2 cents on Alito, but really, I haven't done enough reading up on the dude and all I can say is that I am cautiously pessimistic. Otherwise, you're probably better off getting your commentary from the nice kids at Cole Slaw Blog.