Answers to the Thanksgiving quiz

Congrats to the Glasper on winning the 2nd annual Incredible Amazing Thanksgiving quiz with a staggering total of 96 points. You're such a nerd.
You scored a full 48 on the haiku section with the following opi (opuses?).

Thanksgiving is here.
Atherosclerosis also.
Indian's last laugh.

Blogger Japonés,
Ricky Price still can't read, yet.
Duke sucks donkey balls.

You win a lovely $10 gift certificate for the iTunes music store. I think.

Oh, and JR, remind me to email you about last year's quiz.

Anyway, here are the answers.The Answers

Section 1 - Multiple Choice (40 points - 10 minutes)

1. Which of the following is not an actual quote from George W. Bush?
   a. "I will stand up and struggle, as others have, to try to get that right balance between violence, and sex, and things."
   b. "I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question."
   c. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
   d. "I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."
   John Kerry said (a). Dubya is responsible for all the others.



2. Which command does Burger King's Subservient Chicken not perform?
   a. "Do the chicken dance."
   b. "Change the light bulb."
   c. "Drink."
   d. "Eat a chicken wing."The Subservient Chicken does not do the Chicken Dance. It does do the Macarena, the Hustle, the Electric Slide and the Moonwalk, however.



3. In the popular teen drama The OC, how many regular cast members are actual teenagers?
   a. 0
   b. 1
   c. 2
   d. 3
   Mischa Barton (Marissa) is the only teenager of the bunch. The rest of the gang, Ryan, Seth, Summer and even Anna, are all played by twenty-somethings.


4. Which one of the following served as a makeshift holding cell for protesters during the Republican National Convention in New York this summer?
   a. Pier 1
   b. Pier 39
   c. Pier 57
   d. Pier 69
   We affectionately refer to Pier 57 as "Guantanamo on the Hudson" for its humane treatment of protesters, bystanders and even legal observers who were rounded up during the RNC annoyance this summer. Pier 1 has nice home decor stuff.


5. According to the American Family Association, about how many times was the f-word used in ABC's airing of Saving Private Ryan?
   a. 20
   b. 30
   c. 40
   d. 50
   If they think that's a lot, wait till the director's cut of The Passion of The Christ airs.


6. Which of the following people complained about not getting enough credit for helping end the Cold War?
   a. Madonna
   b. Nancy Reagan
   c. David Hasselhoff
   d. John Kerry
   I kid you not. Yep, the Knight Rider ended the Cold War.


7. How many movies released in 2004 will Jude Law appear in?
   a. 4
   b. 5
   c. 6
   d. 7
   It's nice to see Jude get over his crippling camera shyness.


8. In the film Garden State, Natalie Portman claims that "this song will change your life." Which song is this?
   a. Frou Frou "Let Go"
   b. Cary Brothers "Blue Eyes"
   c. The Shins "New Slang"
   d. The Commodores "Three Times A Lady"
   Seriously, check out this flick, or at least the soundtrack. Though unfortunately, "Three Times A Lady" did not make it on the CD.


9. The FCC fined Fox Television $1.2 million for sexually suggestive content in the show Married By America after viewer complaints. How many people submitted written complaints?
   a. 3
   b. 23
   c. 53
   d. 159
   I wish I could make a joke about this.


10. If you are deep frying turkey this Thanksgiving, what temperature should you heat the oil to?
    a. 300
    b. 350
    c. 375
    d. 400
    You want to heat the oil to 325-350 degrees (F). But why would you want to fry a turkey and risk burning down your entire block? Thanksgiving is more fun without a reenactment of Nero's Rome.

Section 2 - Matching (12 points - 5 seconds)

Match the following terrorist sounding names with the correct description

1. Ali Shaheed Muhammed 2. Barack Obama 3. Khalil Greene 4. Ahmed Chalabi 5. Abu Musab al-Zarqawi 6. Ayad Allawi

d. musician e. US Senator c. White guy b. Iraqi informant a. Suspected terrorist f. Iraqi prime minister

Ali Shaheed is a member of A Tribe Called Quest and Khalil Greene is a white dude who plays for the San Diego Padres.
Ahmed Chalabi, whose intel was crucial in the justification for the Iraqi war, turned out to be a spy for Iran. President Bush doesn't really know Chalabi, but he still sat behind the first lady at last year's State of the Union Address.

Section 3 - Essay (48 points - 40 minutes)

1. In 100 words or less, write a haiku or two about Thanksgiving or the holiday season.
   Sample haiku:

   Football on Turkey Day
   Tryptophan makes you sleepy
   Just like the Cowboys



2. Write a haiku or two about the person who writes this blog without using the phrases "incredibly good looking", "out-of-this-world intelligent" and "above average hygiene".
   Sample haiku:

   Dude claims to be straight
   But has mancrush for Brad Pitt
   Enjoys watching chick flicks